Kill The Troll: Copy That Simply Doesn't Work

So I've been absent for a bit - within a month I started working in communications for another law firm (which I'm loving) and I've made plans to move out of my beloved Minneapolis neighborhood (I confess that I was hook-line-and-sinker for a place with underground parking; the less I have to use an ice scraper on my windshield, the happier I am).

I just read a clever article that inspired me to make time to post: "The #1 Conversion Killer in Your Copy(And How to Beat It)."

It's a big promise, but this is what Sonia Simone writes:

"What makes people almost buy? What makes them get most of the way there, then drop out of your shopping cart at the last second? What makes them stare at your landing page, wanting what you have to offer, and yet, ultimately, close the page and move on to something else?
It turns out there’s a hideous troll hiding under the bridge. Every time you get close to making a sale, the troll springs out and scares your prospect away. Get rid of the troll and your copy will start converting better than it ever has before."

Although you might not even sell a single product that can be put into a "shopping cart" on the Web, it's good to know that it's a widespread belief that the average Web surfer can tell the difference between copy that 'sounds good' and copy that is good.

The unfortunate (or fortunate) side of that statement is with good copy, people don't even notice it's copy: it's a company.

Kick Cliches to the Curb

Want a quick and dirty way to make your writing appear more professional on the Web and in print collateral? Avoid cliches. Avoid them like the plague.

Cliches are like dirty old men at the bar: they'll try to get you drunk on raspberry Kamakazi shots and then act like the innocent Boy Scout wanting to give you a ride home. Steer clear.

Work your prose without having to use cliches. They will bog your writing down to a dreary level of "acceptable" and not much more.

The BBC has provided an updated list of cliches that have worn out their welcome with nearly everyone:

1) "Basically"

2) "To be fair..." -- often followed by a comment that isn't fair

3) Its ugly sister: "To be honest"

4) "Going forward" -- you wouldn't go backward, so why clarify 'going foward' -- this used to be a cardinal sin of mine. Too easy to use when trying to be gentle in correcting someone else's mistake.

5) "The fact of the matter is"

6) "Let's face it"

7) "Touch base" -- I'll forgive you if you use this one, but try to live without it.

8) "110%"

9) "In the pipeline" -- I see this one in my email maybe 2-3x a day. That's one heck of a pipeline. Call a plumber.

10) "The reason being"

11) "You know" -- Jeff Foxworthy pretty much squeezed every last penny out of this one. If you coach someone in public speaking, you may not write it down, but correct them every single time they blurt it out without thinking, especially when responding to questions.

Keep 'em out of your RFPs, Web content, and yes, even your emails. Kick your habitual use of cliches today.